


I’m Hoping if I Bare a Bit of My Soul That You Won’t Turn Away (Ain't This Cliché?)

by fluffyfluffycake



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Luz Noceda, F/F, I still don't know how to tag things properly, One Shot Collection, Useless Lesbian Amity Blight, honestly not like i had a lot to start with, i guess i write a lot of break-up fics now, i mean everything i write is kinda emotional, individual trigger warnings for each chapter, this is where i post when i have run dry of creativity, this whole collection is really emotional, words just come into my brain and then they end up on ao3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyfluffycake/pseuds/fluffyfluffycake
Summary: Just some short imagines or one-shots that will be turned into actual fics.(Used to be called 'Lumity Imagines' until I decided that title was boring)
Relationships: Amity Blight/Boscha (Mentioned), Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Amity Blight/Willow Park (Mentioned)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69





	1. When You Left You Took My Heart With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity knows she shouldn't fall for a girl who's only here for the summer. She _knows._

**before**

She shouldn’t be here, riding around on a staff in the middle of night with this girl she is definitely not in love with. But for a moment, a streetlamp’s yellow light washes over Luz and she is illuminated. 

Her hair is disheveled, there are bags under her eyes, cake crumbs on her wrinkled t-shirt, and Amity thinks she’s never seen anyone more beautiful before.

The moment passes when they fly on, out of the light, and Amity stares out at the dark trees lining the road. They loom over the Owl Lady's borrowed staff like monsters, misshapen and waving in the wind. They always used to scare her. But Luz inches her hand over to hers and she’s not afraid. Not anymore.

Holding the hand of the girl she loves, running tentative fingers over the other girl’s calluses, Amity wonders if life is always supposed to feel like this. If the miserable first fourteen years of her life could have been different. Secretly, quietly, Amity thinks that she would have been happy if Luz had been there.

Amity is all too aware of the press of time on all sides. She can feel the omnipresent clock ticking away. Luz will leave the Boiling Isles at summer's end. But she forces herself not to think about it, and instead looks into Luz’s eyes. The Latina catches her stare, and instead of blushing and looking away and fumbling with her words like Amity does, she stares back. Stares like there is nothing else in the world worth seeing.

 _Who else,_ Amity wonders, _would ever look at me like that? You’re a gift, Luz, a blessing. A marvel. I hope you know that._

Foolishly, Amity doesn’t say it. She thinks she’ll never have that kind of courage.

Back at the Owl House after their impromptu joyride, Amity looks over her shoulder to the girl hastily scrubbing dishes after their late-night snacking. The girl who waved away her offers to clean up for once. She's humming and singing along to a human song playing in her head. Music no one but her can hear.

_You have my heart now, Luz. Please be careful with it._

Later that night, Luz conks out on the couch, leaving Amity to carry her to her bed.

“Don’t leave me,” Amity whispers to the darkness where she knows Luz is lying asleep, snuggled deep under the covers. “Please, just stay. Stay here, with me.”

A light snore is her only answer.

“Let me be enough.”

~the next day~

Amity lets a small smile slip out as the tattoo artist carefully begins. The buzzing of the instrument is unpleasant, and the sensation is slightly painful, but the thought of Luz's face when she surprises her makes everything else fade away.

It doesn’t take long, and Amity steps out of the parlor feeling a mix of feelings that would take forever to properly sort out. Relief is one of them, though, for sure. Now she’ll always have a part of Luz around with her.

She brushes her fingers over the words now inked onto her left wrist.

 _Luz de mi vida_ , it reads in a certain human’s signature griffin scratch.

**after**

Amity steps carefully around the dirty clothes and garbage strewn about the floor. She hasn't bothered to clean up in weeks. Without the girl she loves in her life, there's no point to anything. Not anymore. She goes to make a cup of coffee, notices that she’s running low on beans, and gets halfway through asking Luz to write it down on the grocery list.

The words echo in the empty space, and there is a distinctly Luz-shaped hole in her heart. She lets out a wordless scream and hurls the mug across the room.

 _Why wasn’t I enough?_ Amity wants to howl. _Why wasn’t I good enough for you?_


	2. I Feel So Safe in Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Amity breaks up with Boscha, she ends up at the Owl House when she has nowhere else to go.
> 
> TW: mentions of homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written with Beta Lumity in mind but you can still imagine either way. Enjoy~

AMITY’S POV  
My hand lingers on the Owl House doorbell as flashes of me and Boscha’s screaming match replay in my mind. The way she called me weak. The way I called her cruel. Her hurling things from around my house at me. Me shoving her. Her breaking up with me.

Luz yanks open the door with probably more force than needed, swatting at Hooty when he tries to say something. She takes one look at my disheveled clothes and the mascara that’s currently run and smeared all down my face.

“Boscha dumped me,” I blurt out. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Okay.” Luz sighs, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “You can come in.”

“Really?” I ask, surprised. It’s not like we’re close.

“But I’m not gonna pick up all the pieces of your broken heart, Amity.” She warns, swinging the door open wider for me.

“Then why are you doing this?” I ask tearfully, squinting at her through my soaked eyelashes. 

“Because even though you may be fragile and annoying and pushover and you always let everyone walk all over you like an idiot, everyone needs someone when they’re broken.” She pauses, one hand on the doorknob and one hand on her hip. “Now, are you coming in or what?”

I follow her in and wince when she slams the door shut again.

“But nothing more, okay? I ain't tryna be a rebound,” She smirks, flopping down onto a couch cushion. “I’m also not tryna catch feels over here.”

“Catch… feels?” I sniff, wiping my nose on my sleeve. I think it’s human slang for having feelings for someone.

“Yeah.” She chucks a tissue box at my face. I catch it, barely.

“Why would you be scared of… feelings for me?” I yank a particularly stubborn tissue out of the box with much effort. All the energy has left my body after that screaming match with Boscha. Even having to wipe my nose is taking a toll on me.

“Not scared. Just apprehensive.” Luz corrects me, then pauses. “You’re smart, and you’re funny, and charming, and unfairly attractive. Anyone would crush on you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I can feel a little bit of blood rush up to my face and I curse myself silently, ashamed of feeling like that not twenty minutes after the worst breakup of my life.

“Because I believe that everyone deserves to know who they are. And what they are to other people. Even assholes like Boscha who dump pretty girls out of the blue.” The human lets out a short, humourless chuckle. “But hell, maybe that’s just my queerness talking.”

“Your queerness?” I parrot, confused.

“Ah, right. Forgot you guys don’t have words for stuff like that on the Boiling Isles.” She pauses, tapping her nose in thought. “It means, like, not straight. Or cis.”

“Oh.. okay. I still don’t understand it though.” I mumble, trying not to focus on the fact that Luz just called Boscha an asshole and me pretty.

“Listen, people in the human realm are weird about not being straight or cis or allo. Like, it’s illegal in a lot of countries to be gay. Punishable by the death penalty, often. Even if it’s not, you usually can’t get married, either.” I’m taken aback by Luz for the second time in the span of five minutes. 

“So it’s really hard and confusing in the human realm to figure out that you’re not allo or cishet. I definitely didn’t have an easy time puzzling it all out. Then don’t even get me started on accepting yourself or having other people accept you. Point is, it’s complicated. So, I think everyone should know who or what they are.”

“Oh…” I’m not really sure what to say. Even though she kept her tone light, I can sense that there’s a lot of pain behind those words. “That sounds like it sucks.”

A smirk tugs at the left side of Luz’s mouth. “Yeah. It does.”

We don’t really talk for the rest of the night, but Luz makes me some human food and puts on a really bad movie and lets me sob for hours into her shoulder. She wipes off my face when I’m done, lets me use her shower and wear her clothes to sleep in. She, thank Titan, doesn’t pry when I tell her that going back to my house tonight isn’t a good idea. I end up in warm arms and a surprisingly comfy sleep cocoon, Luz’s breath ghosting over my ear and her hand in my hair.

 _Where have you been all my life?_ I want to ask her, but I don’t. I just close my eyes and let myself drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I randomly wake up in the middle of the night to write this down when I should have been asleep? Did I edit this today instead of working on A Shatter in the Dark? Yes and yes.


	3. Just Let Me Hold You Tight (Beta Lumity)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity ends up at Luz's place when she breaks up with Willow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess?? I just write break-up fics now??
> 
> TW: anxiety

“Willow broke up with me.”

The words hang in the air for a moment before they fall to the ground and shatter into a million little splinters.

Luz can’t say that she never expected their break-up. They’d been drifting for a couple of months now, actually, since the moment she got to Hexside. But Amity is so tough and resilient and intimidating. She’s the one always throwing punches and kicking lockers and getting thrown into detention more times than Luz can count. Everything she did demanded attention, everything about her screamed look at me. Willow was quiet and forgettable and easy to be around.  
But she can say that she never expected her to admit that Willow was the one to break it off with Amity.

The long-haired Latina anticipated her screaming and throwing every breakable thing within reach against the wall, but not this. Not her sobbing, curled up the floor in an inconsolable heap.  
_I’m glad that it’s me that she’s come to, I really am,_ Luz thinks. But Amity has all these walls constructed around her and Willow was the only one who knew where the cracks and the weak points were. Luz certainly doesn’t.

She’s hunched over, hugging her knees to her chest and shaking violently. Luz stands a bit awkwardly just behind her. She’s seen what girls on TV do to get over break-ups. They cry a little and watch some bad movies and eat too much ice cream, but eventually they get over it and either get back together with the boy or start dating another boy. Luz hasn’t had any first-hand experience, having never experienced a break-up or had a friend who’s been through one, either. Well, now she has two. Whoopee.

_I’ve never known anyone who’s loved another that much, for such a long time. Two years. I don’t think I’ve ever even known someone for that long._

In an attempt to comfort her, Luz crouches down and gingerly touches Amity’s back, half expecting her to throw the other girl off with a snarl. Instead, after a small pause, she leans into her hand. That action alone speaks volumes, she knows, dozens of words that she can’t say out loud. Luz won’t insult her by pretending to understand what she’s going through. But that doesn’t mean that she’s not here for her.

Luz reaches over with her other hand and gently peels off the tear-soaked hoodie that she’s pretty sure belongs to Willow because she thinks she catches the scent of coconut and fuchsia deodorant, folding it and setting it down on her shelf. Amity’s sobs slowly ebb off into pronounced sniffs and furious eye-rubbing.  
She’s left in a thin white tank top now, and Luz can see the sharp angles of her shoulder blades straining under her skin like budding wings. But she can also see long jagged slash marks stretching from just below the nape of her neck all the way to her waist where her shirt rides up. The angry pink color of the scars stands out a lot against her pale skin. They look… bad, for lack of a better word.

“Amity, can I ask you what happened?” Luz asks as gently as she can, trying not set her off again.

Amity sighs. Luz can tell that it’s not a subject she’d love to be talking about, but she's offering a distraction from her break-up and she’s clutching it like a lifeline. She schools her facial features with some effort but she can still tell that she’s hurting, bad, inside. Amity’s not as much of an enigma as she thinks, not with the way those gold-coin eyes betray something deep and dark.  
She opens her mouth, hesitates, then closes it again. The green-haired witch stands on two shaking legs, gripping Luz’s upper arms for balance. 

-

Amity catches herself thinking about how she can feel muscles bulging just underneath the surface, then starts wondering about what they look-  
No. She’s not thinking about that right now. She’s not thinking about this stupidly pretty girl with ridiculous hair and a preposterous way of doing magic with an ever-present beanie on her head that actually looks kind of cute on her. She’s not.

But she is thinking about how to explain that Luz is the reason that she and Willow- It hurts to even think the sentence. About how from the moment she saw her, she felt this weird pull towards her. Like something invisible and intangible is tugging her to this strange girl. Absurd, right?

“Can I take a shower?” Amity mumbles. “Then I’ll tell you, I swear.” Luz gives her wrist - when did her hand end up down there oh my god her hands are so warm and rough - a reassuring squeeze and lets her go.

Amity stumbles into the bathroom, her skin burning where the other girl had touched her. She strips as quickly as she can and practically leaps into the shower, turning the handle so that the water is uncomfortably hot, scalding her skin until everything is burning and painful and she can’t feel anything else. 

She just squats underneath the too-warm spray for a while, clenching and unclenching her fists and tears at her hair, trying to pinpoint what feels so wrong, what this burning, panicked feeling clawing at the inside of her chest is. Amity starts hyperventilating, little black spots swimming across her vision. She recognizes what’s happening and yanks on the handle to stop the water. She lays curled up in the shower for a minute or so, trying to keep breathing. Her lungs feel like they’re several sizes too small and she wants to peel all her skin off.

Why does she feel like this? What’s going on?

Amity shakily climbs out and wraps a towel she found under the sink around herself, shaking her head repeatedly in an attempt to dislodge this ringing sound somewhere in her ears.

Eventually she starts tearing at her skin, trying to claw off this feeling of something is not right but it’s infused with her, she’s this horrible, anxious sensation and it’s her. Luz must hear that something’s going on because she bursts through the door and holds her, just holding her and rocking back and forth gently and slowly even though Amity’s soaking wet and wearing nothing but a towel and completely freaking out. But she doesn’t comment on anything, just asks if there’s anything she needs to do or if something specific triggered her.  
The rest of the night is a blur, a wild tangle of emotions that Amity hasn’t felt in so long that she’s not even sure what they’re called. But one thing remains constant the whole time. 

Luz.

-

And finally, when the sun is getting ready to rise and the youngest Blight has finally calmed down enough to doze off, Luz thinks she hears a faint “thank you” escape Amity’s lips, which are pressed against her arms wrapped around her from behind. But she’s probably imagining it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's called a panic attack, amity sweetie, and they suck :)


	4. If I Don't Go to Hell When I Die I Might Go to Heaven, pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity is an assassin, and Luz is catching feelings.
> 
> TW: very graphic murder scenes, language
> 
> Title from the song 'Bad Bad Things' by AJJ. One of my favorite bands ever, go listen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got back to my house about twenty minutes ago! I'm back here in my second home, in Africa. I wrote this while bored on the plane (13+ hour flight) so it's honestly terrible.

Amity chuckled softly, taking one hand off her bloodied axe to rub at her temples. The green-haired witch's low snickers morphed into strangled growls as she loomed over the figure huddled, sobbing on the ground. She crouched down, balancing on the balls of her feet, shifting her weight from side to side, not unlike a praying mantis about to strike. She let the outermost edge of the blade bite into the forest floor with a squelch.

Amity reached out a hand to cup the schoolgirl's jaw. A black polished nail, filed and sharpened to a point, pricked her chin. A single drop of blood welled up, threatening to spill over.

“Greetings from the Shadow League.” The young assassin purred, her hand gently trailing down to envelop the soft skin of the girl’s throat. Amity stared into her mark’s eyes as she reached back to grasp the polished Titan-bone handle of the hand axe. They were a pleasant, calming shade of brown, she noted. A thousand layers of color in just one iris.

The silver blade swung up, high over their heads, and crashed right into the center of the victim’s brow. A slight groan preceded a satisfying crunch as the axe buried itself between the girl’s eyes. Gore and sinew burst from the opening, blood dripping down the decimated skull as Amity pulled it back out with a firm tug.

She stood up, lingering for a few moments to admire her handiwork. A beautiful, pure face, like untouched snow now disfigured beyond recognition by the blade-stoke right in the middle. It was a pity that she had dirtied herself running through these woods in a pathetic attempt to escape. Amity reached over to adjust the corpse’s skirt, wanting her to look completely perfect before allowing herself a small smile as she turned and made her way back to the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I watched a YouTube video of someone crushing a human skull in a vice because I wasn't sure what sound a skull would make if you applied blunt force trauma and let me just say the methods of acquiring that skull are a little sus...


	5. If I Don't Go to Hell When I Die I Might Go to Heaven, pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz teaches Amity about the concept of an afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, real talk: do I not describe my characters appearance or the background enough? I was noticing this when I was writing my Victorious fic (which will be posted soon) and I'm kinda panicking over here so do I need to do that more??

“You looked tired,” Luz chirped as she plopped down next to Amity. She dropped her tray onto the tabletop with a loud clatter. “What, you stay up too late reading Azura?” Amity grumbled into her hands, incoherent without her morning coffee.

“Here.” Luz smirked as she slid a cup across the table to bump into her arm. “Black, two sugars.”

The golden-eyed witch fell upon it immediately, draining nearly half the cup before she remembered that Luz was still sitting there, waiting expectantly. “Thanks.” Amity gasped before gulping down the rest.

“Jesus, Amity, slow down before you kill yourself.” The Afro-Latina smiled, sipping on her own coffee.

“Jesus?” Amity mumbled around the rim of the cup as she knocked back the dregs. Titan, that was good. “What’s that?”

Luz shook her head tiredly. “Just a human expression.” Amity lifted a brow at her, silently asking her to elaborate.

“Oh, man. Okay, this is gonna sound a little crazy, but he’s a demigod who millions of people worship. Some people eat his flesh and blood, er, not really, just crackers and wine that are supposed to represent his body.”

Amity furrowed her brows, staring into her now-empty cup. Well, that disappeared really quickly. Oh, right. Luz was talking.

“Um, we have this thing called church, where people go to listen to speeches about God and Jesus and then sing and stuff, and then babies can get dunked underwater to get cleansed of sin - I think - I don’t really know, ‘cause my mom was raised Catholic but she’s atheist now, which happens a lot, and-”

“Luz.” Amity groans, tossing the cup away. “Too many words for this early in the morning.”

“You asked.” Luz retorts, gulping rapidly. “It’s not my fault that humans are so weird. What, do you guys not have religion here?”

“Uh, no. Not really. I mean, some people pay respects to the Titans, leaving offerings at the Skull and stuff, but not actual religion.”

“Oh!” Luz exclaimed, resting a hand on Amity’s shoulder. “I almost forgot! There’s these things, Heaven and Hell in the human realm, too. If you’re good in life and then when you die you go to Heaven, which is this eternal paradise. But if you’re bad, or sinful, you go to Hell, which is eternal torture.”

“Kinky.” Amity quipped, ignoring Luz when she scoffed and tried to explain herself further. In the back of her mind, she wondered idly about this ‘Heaven’ and ‘Hell’. What, exactly, made a person so bad that they were doomed to infinite punishment? What constituted being good in this life?

But most of all, where would she go?


End file.
